I don't understand why this is.

                            I'm in between. I'm one of those people who will look at certain relationships and what people say and how they act with each other and think how naive they are (that only really applies to certain ones, of course). But I'm also one of those people who will look at every relationship and be happy just because I love love, and I think any form is adorable in its own way. So, I'm in between. I'm a snob and a romantic all in one.

But the snob part of me is what's writing this post. It's no secret that people are dating really young nowadays, and not only that, but people my age have already had fifteen relationships. Fifteen relationships at the age of seventeen. That's just terrible. It's because a lot of them started dating around the third grade. I didn't have my first boyfriend until I was fourteen. I didn't have my first kiss until I was fifteen. Now I'm seventeen, and I'm still a virgin. And this annoys me a lot, but it's still not the point as to why I'm writing this.

Basically, it's normal in today's society for the typical teenage relationship to last no longer than 2-3 months, if even. There are always exceptions, of course (like myself!), but that's the typical. I don't even get bothered when a couple thinks they're in love when they're not or anything like that. What bothers me is that, in most cases, it's only a crush, or that they just like each other, infatuation, etc. Small stuff like that. Which is fine, of course. Then, when they break up after three weeks of dating, they don't even make an effort to be friends or anything. And it's understandable. Know why? Because the relationship didn't matter. It was a fling, just there for experience.

And here's my point.

Girl meets boy. Girl crushes on boy, boy crushes on girl. Boy asks girl out, girl says yes. Girl and boy spend every day together. Boy is nice to girl and girl is nice to boy. Girl sees boy every morning before school and every afternoon afterward. Boy asks girl to hang out every night. Boy and girl get sick of each other when the crush fades after a month and a half, and leave each other without a trace.

That's stuff that a lot of people go through at some point, but it bothers me so badly, but only one part of it. The part where they spend every day together. The part where she sees him every morning and afternoon, and he picks her up to be with her every night. The part where they spend every minute together. The part where they take this ability for granted, And yet, it's only a crush.

I love you. I love you. We haven't been together for a month and a half. We've been together for a year and three months (actually, a little more). We didn't get together simply by asking each other out. We mutually wanted to be together and decided on it. We aren't perfectly happy-go-lucky all the time. We've had fights and break-ups but have always come back to each other in the end. We've never gotten sick of each other. We're more than just nice to each other. Like me. I made a blog listing every reason why I love you, and it's still going. I'm still going on and on until I reach 1,221 reasons why I love you. I send you love letters and drawings in the mail all the time. I leave you notes for you to see when I leave to make it easier on you. And you. You've woken me up at five in the morning despite that you weren't feeling good and were dead tired, simply because it was raining and you knew I've always wanted to kiss in the rain. You've written me a love letter too, just like I have written for you, only so much longer than any of mine have been. You've danced with me to our song in the morning when we were only in our pajamas. We're more than just nice to each other like the boy and the girl. But the biggest difference we have is that they had a crush, while we are in love.

And this is the part that frustrates me.

Through the simplicity and unimportant relationship of the boy and the girl, whose feelings will fade in a month and a half, they still have something that I can only dream of and wish for every night; each other. They have each other, every day. They can see each other whenever they want to. So much, that they sometimes choose not to, because they don't love each other to even want to see each other all the time.

But we can only see each other once every long while. Sometimes it's three weeks. Sometimes it's three months. Sometimes it's even half a year. Even so, I don't understand why a relationship that is only there for experience has the gift of seeing each other every day but we don't. We have to fight and suffer with the loneliness, the waiting, and the constant missing while not being able to do anything about it at all. Is it because we can? Is it because we can go through all that emptiness and still know it's worth it? Or, is it just by chance that we got the painful end, and they got the easy one?