Friday: I was nervous. Not as nervous as the first time, but still so nervous. I had three hours on the train to calm down my nerves, yet, when we finally pulled into Hudson, my heart was going faster than a rocket. Then, when we finally got off the train and I saw you instantly, it was just like a movie. I've never ran so fast before. I've never felt so ecstatic, so relieved before. And when I jumped into your arms, I never wanted to let go (I barely did throughout the whole weekend, though). It was still kind of weird to me. I mean, I've never been to your house and, of course, I was going to meet your whole family a few hours later. It was so perfect though.
Saturday: You woke me up in the most annoying way, but I still loved that it was you who woke me up. I like snuggling up with you in the morning (even though you were freezing, as if you slept in an icebox and then snuggled close to me). It was still a little weird for me on Saturday. It still didn't feel real. I wasn't clinging to you all that much during the day. Just normal kissing and hugging every now and then. Then we watched Watchmen together and I couldn't really kiss you all that much. Three hours of straight watching a movie with nothing but holding your hand with your arms around me. That must be why I practically attacked you when the movie was over. The best part was that you attacked me too. Neither of us wanted to pull away, even though you had to put on another movie for background noise. The best part of that was the spontaneity. I just wanted the night to last forever.
Sunday: After Saturday night, I was finally getting used to being around you. That's when I started being clingy (even though you liked it - most of the time). I just couldn't let you go and I always wanted a kiss from you, even when you were making fun of me for something. It started getting me kind of scared, though. You woke me up in the morning and I started getting anxious because this was the day I was supposed to leave. I was so happy when my mom said I could stay another day, though. I have never loved snow so much. Of course, I stopped loving it when you tackled me into it later that night. It was still fun. Anything is fun with you, even playing in the snow. I was freezing and wet and I could barely breathe, but I could not stop laughing. I was so happy. Then we went inside and watched The Dark Knight. The same thing that happened with Watchmen happened with The Dark Knight as well, except it wasn't as spontaneous because we knew what was going to happen. It was better this time, though. I won't say it here, but I think you know why. It wasn't as spontaneous, but it was more romantic, somehow. At least, for me. And then the last thing of the night was finishing my Chinese food at 2:30 in the morning with you. I don't know why we called it a midnight snack when it was so late (I left out when you made me eggs before we went in the snow. You make them so delicious.).
Monday: Today. Although, the parts of today that I spent with you feel like yesterday or the day before. Everything feels so far away now. I knew when you woke me up this morning that this was it. I'm leaving you today and I won't see you for months. It didn't hit me for the day, though. You made me eggs again, and even though you decided to be an angry Chinese man instead of the adorable, romantic James that I love, they were still equally delicious. Then, when your mom left us alone, you danced with me to our song. I think that's my favorite part of the weekend, or at least one of my favorites. I remember it exactly. We were both in pajamas. There were cartoons on in the background (on mute so we could hear the music). At yours and my favorite parts of the song, we'd sing the lyrics together. I don't know. I just really loved it all.
Then, we got to the train station. I could feel the weight getting heavier and heavier, like there was cement slowly piling on my shoulders. You wouldn't kiss me that much while we were waiting for the train, but I was hugging and clinging onto you as much as you'd allow me to in public. And then the train came. I didn't want to let go. I just held on to you, and when we kissed, I knew it was the last time for months I would kiss you. When I let go of your hand, the cement on my shoulders really started to crush me. I didn't expect any of it. The first time I met you, after you had left that day, I only missed you and wanted to call you. This time, I was crying for most of the train ride. Sometimes I smiled, but I just didn't want to leave. It's like my memories made me happy but I was sad because I couldn't have you again for so long.
I think this is the first time ever that the farther away I got from the wilderness and the closer I got to the city, it only made me sadder.
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